One of the biggest things I have found out while adapting our lifestyle to a simple minimalism one is I need to forgive and move on from my past inorder to keep my inner happiness tank full. Because by letting past hurts take a hold over me and be part of my future, will only make me unhappy or even miserable and I will be only hurting my self. It won’t be affecting the other party that were involved as they would have moved on and forgot about it.
I know this seems a hard thing to do but one of the biggest things we can do as a human being is forgive. Forgive even if the other person does not know they have hurt us, forgive when people say sorry, forgive with whole heart and passion. This does not happen overnight and it can be hard to forgive and even painful at times but I want to spend everyday full of inner happiness and to do that I have to forgive.
The other biggest lesson I have learnt to keep my inner happiness tank full is to stop worrying about yesterday or tomorrow but live life to the full today. Tomorrow things may go wrong and things may not go to plan or the money may not be in the bank but I will deal with that tomorrow rather than worry about it today and using up all my energy trying to predict what may happen in the future. For example yesterday, I could of spent the whole day worrying about what will happen today when we go back to see my hubbies surgeon; Will the surgeon be happy with hubbys progress? Will they say its ok for hubby to go back to work? How will we be able to afford to put fuel in the car to take the long journey to the hospital ec… But instead I worked sat in the garden, I listen to podcasts that I have been meaning to do for a while, I did some gardening and I took my youngest daughter to the park after school. All these things would not have happened if i was worrying about what might happen the following day.
Another example When my daughter and I walk home from the park yesterday; If I was worrying about the future my daughter would not have had 100% of my attention, I would not have had all the the interesting conversations with her about my daughter’s day and we would not have seen a wild deer walking next to us through the wire fence as I would of been too preoccupied worrying about what may happen tomorrow, the day after and the day after that, to have noticed the deer walking beside us.
I know these things may seem small things but as I don’t want to spend my life looking backwards and forwards and only taking the present day for granted I needed to make some changes. After all I would not have wanted to have missed standing looking at a wild deer eye to eye and having a small connection with it for the world. So how did I go about changing my mindset so to day is the day I concentrate on, enjoy fully, learn something new from and live to the full.
- I forgave all past hurts, the big things and the small things. Every single hurt I was holding on to I forgave fully and wholeheartedly. As soon as I did it felt like my shoulders were not being weighed down any more, I felt lighter that I could fly with the birds and my heart felt like it was one again.
- I removed any possessions that I had around me that kept reminding me of my past hurts and I burnt them so they were completely out of my life and by doing this also helped me through the forgiveness as well. Everything that surrounds me are full of good memories or help me to live a happy fuller life.
- I stopped worrying about what may happen as I have no control over the future no matter how much I thought I did. Worrying is just a waste of energy, which I need to use to enjoy and learn from the present day.
- I made a list of dreams that our family have for now and the future and I work hard in this present day to make these dreams come true, yes there may be setbacks (like hubby needing a heart operation) but I don’t dwell on them I hold my head up high and carry on working hard one step at a time till we have reached the point where we are living our dream. By doing this we have already started living some of our dreams that 3 years ago we thought were only just a dream and would never happen. But it has and each dream was and is just as good as we dreamt it to be.
- I had to love my job and in fact fact I love my job that much now that it does not feel like a job any more. I can work around my family, I don’t need an office as I can work from my garden (as I am now), the beach, a coffee shop, the school car park waiting for the children to finish school, I can work from absolutely anywhere in the world. I enjoy having the freedom of waking up in the morning and saying I am going to play today and I will work this evening in front on the TV. I have found if you don’t enjoy your job you can not enjoy living life to the full in the present day.
- I have cut down on my outside commitments (you can read how I did this here) that were not good for me to carry on doing if I want to keep my inner happiness tank full and live in the present day because they were sucking energy out of me that I needed to enjoy life to the full.
To summarize the changes I have made so I can fulfill my inner happiness and live in the present are;
Are you living every day in the present rather than in the past or the future?
If you are not living in the present day or keeping your inner happiness tank full what can you do in your life to change that?